The Chronicles of the Awkward Tumblr Virgin

Thank you for coming, please leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.

Daily Show correspondent Michael Che tries to find a safe place to report from.

(Source: sandandglass, via dumbledoresnavy)

clannyphantom:

based off of (x)

joshoohahhhhhh:

teamfreekickass:

mephistos-cafe-lattes:

erikats-eridaves:

pernicious-monarchs:

erikats-eridaves:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know (Source)

NOW I CAN BE A TRUE MERMAID

I actually did a report on this last year! The substance is called perfluorocarbon and because of its unique nature, it can hold enough oxygen inside of it for you to breathe it. You can breathe safely while inside it, but sometimes the transition from breathing in the perfluorocarbon and the air can be painful or uncomfortable as your lungs try to push the liquid out of them. In Dan Brown’s book The Lost Symbol, the process of reverting back to breathing the air can feel like being birthed.

thank you friend

how the fuck do they know what being birthed feels like

FACT:
This liquid is used in modern torture. It is similar to water boarding. A victim is placed in a small completely dark box. The box is then filled with the liquid. The victim thinks they are drowning as they breath the liquid in. Most pass out from fear at this point or they just sit there in the liquid in pitch black, apparently breathing ‘water’. Often it leads to the thought that they are in fact dead. It is completely terrifying. Then the box is opened and they are violently pulled from it. As said before the transition from liquid to air is none too pleasant. You might be told something like, they resuscitated you and to tell them what you know or they will “drown” you again.
You can “drown” someone and be sure that they won’t be harmed
You all needed to know this. 

what the fuck to both of those

joshoohahhhhhh:

teamfreekickass:

mephistos-cafe-lattes:

erikats-eridaves:

pernicious-monarchs:

erikats-eridaves:

nowyoukno:

Now You Know (Source)

NOW I CAN BE A TRUE MERMAID

I actually did a report on this last year! The substance is called perfluorocarbon and because of its unique nature, it can hold enough oxygen inside of it for you to breathe it. You can breathe safely while inside it, but sometimes the transition from breathing in the perfluorocarbon and the air can be painful or uncomfortable as your lungs try to push the liquid out of them. In Dan Brown’s book The Lost Symbol, the process of reverting back to breathing the air can feel like being birthed.

thank you friend

how the fuck do they know what being birthed feels like

FACT:

This liquid is used in modern torture. It is similar to water boarding. A victim is placed in a small completely dark box. The box is then filled with the liquid. The victim thinks they are drowning as they breath the liquid in. Most pass out from fear at this point or they just sit there in the liquid in pitch black, apparently breathing ‘water’. Often it leads to the thought that they are in fact dead. It is completely terrifying. Then the box is opened and they are violently pulled from it. As said before the transition from liquid to air is none too pleasant. You might be told something like, they resuscitated you and to tell them what you know or they will “drown” you again.

You can “drown” someone and be sure that they won’t be harmed

You all needed to know this. 

what the fuck to both of those

(via dumbledoresnavy)

nebachanezar:

The real plot line of 30 Rock.

(Source: cassiejuly, via dumbledoresnavy)

on my adopted fucks 14th birthday

fuck:

thank you for all the great presents mom and dad!

me and my husband:

fuck, there is something we need to talk to you about.....

fuck:

wh-wh-what is it?

my husband:

your mother and I... I'm sorry I can't do it

me:

what your father is trying to say is that.... you're adopted

fuck:

WHAT you aren't my real parents? why did you adopt me?

me:

truth is i couldn't give a fuck. I didn't have the ability to give a fuck. I'd always dreamed about having a fuck of my own and here you are, my own fuck.

“Photoshop like a boss”

—   

Wait for it

(via correplatanito)

at first I was like “holy fucking shit” but then

(via cheschirebacon)

(Source: frikiskrew, via xoalmostloverxo)

megachikorita:

you kids these days with your rapidly growing concern for the state of the world and your knowledge of important issues at increasingly younger ages despite having been told your opinions don’t matter by the adults who put you in these situations

(Source: auxiliaryanimorphs, via thetowndrugdealer)

diacrit:

hanesonly:

I almost forgot my briefcase!

it contains important lab results

diacrit:

hanesonly:

I almost forgot my briefcase!

it contains important lab results

(Source: awwww-cute, via pagingme)

frenums:

frenums:

(via joshpeck)

meeperme:

rendezvousramen:

pancakebird:

an art tutorial

thank

Wow after watching this my art improved so much

(Source: dingdongtaylorsgone, via mourningoberyn)