The Chronicles of the Awkward Tumblr Virgin

Thank you for coming, please leave all overcoats, canes and top hats with the doorman.

k-elizabeth-t:

This boy at Target asked if I would hold his hand because his ex girlfriend just walked in with a new guy, so naturally I felt bad and held his hand while strolling around Target for a bit. Then it donned on me, with no other couple in sight, that was the best damn pick up line ever pulled.

(via beyondthebooty)

jsantagato:

creeproll:

I’ve literally been laughing at this for the past five minutes

Clearly

jsantagato:

creeproll:

I’ve literally been laughing at this for the past five minutes

Clearly

(Source: grantofalltrades, via annie-leonhardts-ass)

handjob:

by e

handjob:

by e

(via buttjuices)

rivialle-heichou:

あたらし@A太/スパーク新刊お知らせ
With permission to repost, do not reprint without proper permission
[please do not remove source]

rivialle-heichou:

あたらし@A太/スパーク新刊お知らせ

With permission to repost, do not reprint without proper permission

[please do not remove source]

(via cassjasontimdicksteph)

sigurrossgeller:

pleatedjeans:

Seal with a data-logger on it’s head. [x]

"I’ve got a fuckin data logger on my head"
"I know lmao"

sigurrossgeller:

pleatedjeans:

Seal with a data-logger on it’s head. [x]

"I’ve got a fuckin data logger on my head"

"I know lmao"

(via joshpeck)

literallysame:


nohighs:

YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER

I’ve reblogged this with like 3 different added captions and they all get me every time

literallysame:

nohighs:

YOU REALLY THINK A FUCKIN PANCAKE IS GONNA FIX THIS HEATHER

I’ve reblogged this with like 3 different added captions and they all get me every time

(via buttjuices)

slapdancing:

poodlepunk:

both of my legs are asleep

Draw dicks on them

(via thetowndrugdealer)